well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
