Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
