There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
