When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
