So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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