That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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