At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
