I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
