I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize