OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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