Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
