adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
send nudes
from the living room?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
