I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
