I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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