Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
