I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize