Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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