end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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