dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
