She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
