Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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