What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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