Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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