woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Enjoy the penises
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize