We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize