Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
