i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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