happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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