she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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