i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
