omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He has the fingertips of a God
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