Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
