He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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