I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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