Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
