Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
