You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
