i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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