you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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