Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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