If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
