Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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