That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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