guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize