Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
