i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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