Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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