Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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