The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
