I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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