Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sober January is a disaster.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
