He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
