can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize