Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
