so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
