im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
