i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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