I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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