Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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