Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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