her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize