it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
