...so i touched it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
