I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
worst night to have a conscience
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
