I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
