Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
