It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
