Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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