yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
