singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize