I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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