Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
