I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
