I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
