You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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