So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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