I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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