A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize