if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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