I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
