I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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