I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
