Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize