We're like a lot better than the average bears
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
