Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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